Wholistic Jen

By Jennifer Whitmire MS, MEd, MH, CHES, NEP

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’m eating clean, exercising, getting enough sleep—so why do I feel stuck?” It’s frustrating, right? When we think we’re doing everything “right” but still feel stuck in our health, weight loss, test results, …, it can be easy to spiral into a low mood and even depression. 

The truth is, there’s so much more to healing and feeling your best than just diet and exercise. I remember thinking this same thing for YEARS!  How did I even get an autoimmune disease?  I ate “healthy,” I made sure I was getting fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and watching my saturated fat.  I exercised every day, including yoga, strength training, stretching for flexibility, and running for cardio.  What was missing?  Where did I go wrong?

Maybe the way we think about self-care needs to change.  Is getting a manicure self care?  What about that monthly facial or massage?  What about that evening with wine and botox?  It’s getting out in the community.  It’s spending time connecting with people, and it’s a break from the work stress, family stress, traffic stress, etc.  Those things may be a break from your routine, but we need to dig even deeper.

There are parts of ourselves that can’t be measured by calories, miles run, or hours slept. “Doing all the things” might not be enough.

You’re Not Just a Body—You’re Energy

We live in a world that focuses on the tangible, data: calories in, calories out, blood pressure, cholesterol, specific macros and nutrients, weight, maintaining muscle and bones, staying hydrated. But we are so much more than what can be measured.

Traditional Chinese Medicine and practices like Qi Gong have taught us that the body isn’t just a machine—it’s a flow of energy. We are electrical beings. When that energy gets stuck or depleted, it can throw everything off balance, no matter how “perfect” your diet or exercise routine may be.

We know that stress can cause all sorts of problems, from increased blood sugar and insulin to increased heart rate and blood pressure. Then all of the other things come from there-metabolic disorders, insulin resistance, thyroid receptor resistance, congested liver, increased cardiovascular risks, etc. We can’t see stress, but we can measure the things that happen after we are under stress.

If you’re doing all the right things but still not seeing results, maybe your energy is blocked or unbalanced. Practices like Qi Gong, acupuncture, and energy healing can help you realign your internal energy and remove stagnation that might be holding you back from healing. 

I have been told that I need to meditate regularly. And it’s just something I could not even picture myself doing. I didn’t get it?! Sit in quiet? It just didn’t make since to me. I needed something to actually DO – not sit and be stuck in my thoughts. “Let your thoughts come, acknowledge them, and let them pass or go.”  What?!  What does that even mean? I have always been one of those people with the monkey brain. My whole life, it’s like I have a million thoughts going on at the same time, and they aren’t going to float on by.

I have always been amazed how one of my children completely listens to their body, all the time.  I would offer them a cookie or brownie and get back, “No thank you.  I think I’d rather have an apple.” This was even as a small child.  They could always turn down chips, candy, etc. This child, just like our animals, always knew how to listen to the body.  I am learning to do that now, too.

The key here is curiosity. If we can listen to our bodies—not with judgment, but with curiosity— we can start to tap into what’s really going on beneath the surface.

The Hidden Power Inside Of You

There’s this whole other major player in our lives that most of us weren’t taught how to maintain and nourish.  It is emotional health. When we talk about health, we talk about the body, but the body is intertwined with the mind. Stress, anxiety, unprocessed trauma—these emotions are stored in the body and can actually manifest as physical symptoms. You can be eating the most nutrient-dense meals, but if you’re chronically stressed or holding on to past trauma, your body is still going to be in survival mode and keep your body out of balance.

Self-care means honoring your emotional needs just as much as your physical ones. When was the last time you really paused and gave yourself permission to feel? Self-care isn’t just about massages and manicures; it’s about taking a deep look at what your body and mind are asking for. Maybe it’s quiet time, a creative outlet, or a tough conversation with yourself about setting boundaries. Healing happens when we align with our deepest needs, not just the superficial ones.

Community and Connection 

We also underestimate the power of community and human connection. Humans are social creatures, and studies show that connecting with others is necessary in emotional and physical health. In our fast-paced world, isolation has become more common than connection. No matter how “busy” you are, neglecting time with friends and those you love can leave you feeling disconnected, lonely, and less resilient to whatever comes at you.

This might sound woo-woo, but there’s an energetic exchange that happens when we’re with people we love. Sharing laughter, talking about your day, or even just being present with someone can create emotional stability and balance that trickles down to the physical body.

Instead of isolating yourself trying to do things perfectly, reach out, be vulnerable, and let your relationships support you. Qi Gong and Chinese Medicine emphasize the balance of yin (nurturing, receiving) and yang (action, doing)—it’s all about maintaining harmony. If you’re stuck in yang energy (doing all the things), but you’re missing the yin (the stillness, connection, and replenishing), balance will not happen for you.

Feel the loving energy. Whether you can hold someone like this or not, there is energy all around you. Tap into it.

I know, because that was me. I have been working on my spiritual and emotional health intently for the last 6 months or so.  I had a revelation at a retreat in September. Someone asked me why I can’t sit in the silence, what’s wrong with taking time to relax, why do I make myself so busy all of the time.  I blurted out, “It’s not safe!” I was stunned. The person left the room, and I burst out crying saying out loud, “It’s not safe. It’s not safe.” It had suddenly occurred to me, that I was keeping busy, because I hadn’t worked through the times in my life when I wasn’t safe.  

I am safe. I am in a loving relationship. I have a loving family.  I live in a very safe environment. I am safe now. I went back to my room. I turned on a meditation to listen to as I did my legs up the wall, and the meditation that popped up was called, “Let it go,” so turned it on and all of a sudden, I felt all of the emotions bubble up and out from the years of holding onto fear. I was finally able to let it go. And now, I am able to sit in silence.  I am actually able to meditate! Only 5-10 minutes at a time. But, wow! I can actually do it, and my body is so happy.

The Real Deal on Stress

We often think of stress as something to just “push through,” but it’s so much more than that. Stress literally changes the way the body functions. When you’re in a constant state of stress, your body is stuck in fight-or-flight mode, and guess what? In this state, healing, weight loss, and even digestion take a back seat, because your body thinks it’s preparing to fight. No amount of kale or cardio can override a stress-induced hormonal imbalance. 

You can’t heal if you are in fight or flight mode!

Here’s where we need to get a little unconventional. Yes, diet and exercise are important, but real healing comes when you calm your nervous system. Whether it’s through meditation, Qi Gong, breathwork, or spending time in nature, learning to find peace is a vital part of healing. When you give your body permission to relax, that’s when true recovery begins.

Listening to Your Body With Curiosity

Your thoughts and beliefs have an impact on your body. If you’re constantly frustrated or worried, believing you’ll never feel better or that you’re doomed to carry extra weight forever, your body will respond accordingly. Just saying,  “I have this disease,” or “My disease” claims the illness and keeps you stuck in it.  You don’t have a disease; you were diagnosed with a disease. The illness doesn’t define you!

What if you could approach your healing with curiosity instead of frustration? Instead of thinking, “Why isn’t this working?” try asking, “What is my body trying to tell me?” This shift in mindset can help you tap into your intuition and unlock deeper layers of healing.

It’s okay to get weird with it. Maybe your body needs something unconventional like energy medicine or Qi Gong. Maybe it’s calling for more rest, not more exercise. Maybe the missing piece is joy or creative expression. The only way to know is to listen.

You can journal, or maybe coloring or taking pictures and expressing your creative side will help you remember how to hear your body. What are things that you used to love to do?  Find time to do those things and see what happens.

Practical Tips for Embracing Holistic Self-Care

So, how do you start adding this deeper layer of self-care into your life? 

1. Dance, Qi Gong, or Yoga: These ancient practices help balance your energy and calm your mind. Even just 10 minutes a day can make a difference.

2. Create a Self-Care Ritual: Set aside time each day, every day, for something that replenishes you. It could be a morning meditation, walking outside, journaling, or even just sitting in silence.

3. Reconnect with Those You Love: Make time for community and connection. Call a friend, have a real, heartfelt conversation, or spend time with family.

4. Practice Mindful Eating: Instead of obsessing over what you’re eating, slow down and tune in to how the food makes you feel. This will help you better understand what your body needs. What foods really feel good to you and make your body feel good?

5. Detox Your Mind and Space: Along with healthy eating, think about detoxing your environment and your thoughts. Are you surrounded by clutter or toxic relationships? Let go of what no longer serves you.

You Are More Than What You Do

Doing “all the things” is great, but true healing comes when you align with your body on a deeper level. It’s not just about checking off the list—it’s about listening, nurturing, and finding balance in all areas of your life: physical, emotional, and energetic. The sooner we start to see self-care as more than just diet and exercise, the sooner we’ll start to experience the healing we’ve been searching for.

So, let’s get curious. Let’s get weird. Let’s tap into the deeper, energetic layers of who we are and open the door to true healing.

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