Wholistic Jen

By Jennifer Whitmire MS, MEd, MH, CHES, NEP 

I remember my confidence coach, Dr Michelle Mokart, telling me to go for a C, she may have said B, when I was working on a project, and if you know me, you can only imagine the look I gave her.  (My face ALWAYS tells it as it is!).  I have NEVER settled for less than an A.

With my own clients, I am always saying, “Progress over perfect.” For some reason, I struggle with accepting that in my own life. I recently heard a quote from Dr Kasia Kines that 90-95% of chronic EBV patients are perfectionists.  And I had to think that this has to be the case for other diseases, as well.  

The drive to be perfect leads to an adrenaline rush, high stress (Yes, I feel like I thrive on that stress), but that stress leads to internal damage, damage at the cellular level.  When I think of cell damage, my first thought is cancer, but cell damage occurs in all diseases, and it creates a chain reaction.

Do you find yourself always pushing for “perfect” and feeling like “good enough” just doesn’t cut it? For many of us, perfectionism is more than a personality trait; it’s an inner drive to make everything flawless, no matter the cost. But what happens when that drive for perfection turns into a never-ending cycle of stress, self-criticism, and anxiety? Perfectionism fuels the chronic stress that makes symptoms worse.

From autoimmune diseases to heart disease, chronic fatigue, and more, many health issues appear to thrive in the environment that perfectionism creates. Maybe it’s time to aim for a C- in life—for our health, happiness, and even longevity.

How Perfectionism Hurts Your Health

Perfectionism might sound like a positive trait, but it’s a double-edged sword. The desire to succeed and excel can motivate us to grow and evolve, but for some of us, the need to get it “just right” crosses the line into self-imposed punishment. The effects of perfectionism go beyond the mind and deeply impact our physical health. 

1. The Stress Connection

Perfectionism keeps our bodies on high alert, constantly striving to avoid failure. When we’re pushing ourselves to be flawless in everything—from work to relationships and even self-care—we’re activating a “fight or flight” response. 

This means cortisol, our stress hormone, is on the rise. Over time, prolonged high cortisol leads to inflammation, chronic stress, and eventually a breakdown in immune function. High stress is linked to heart disease, digestive issues, and even autoimmune flares.

2. The Impact on Immunity

Our immune system responds to every thought, feeling, and behavior, including the harsh self-criticism that accompanies perfectionism. When we constantly judge ourselves as “not enough,” our immune system weakens. The mental burden of perfectionism drains our energy reserves and wears down its natural defenses making us more susceptible to illnesses, infections, and flare-ups in chronic viruses or autoimmune disorders.

3. Sleep and Digestive Disruptions

One of the lesser-known impacts of perfectionism is on sleep. Perfectionists often find their minds racing, keeping them awake even when they know they need rest. Without enough restorative sleep, the body can’t properly regulate mood, memory, or metabolism. 

Chronic sleep deprivation leads to an imbalance in our gut microbiota which is linked to issues like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), leaky gut, and inflammation—all of which are worsened by perfectionist tendencies.

The Psychology Behind “Not Enough”

Perfectionism often stems from a deep-seated belief that I’m not good enough, or that if I let mr guard down, everything will fall apart. Many perfectionists were raised in environments where achievements were heavily rewarded, creating a lifelong association between success and self-worth. 

Fear of Failure and Shame

Many perfectionists carry a fear of failure that drives their need to get it right all the time. This fear is rooted in the belief that any sign of imperfection reflects inadequacy, incompetence, or worthlessness. To avoid these feelings, perfectionists set impossibly high standards for themselves and others. This leads to an exhausting loop of self-criticism and shame that not only damages mental health but also strains the nervous and immune systems.

Always Striving for More (and Not Reaching It)

Perfectionism is also fueled by a constant desire for validation which often leads people to set higher and higher expectations each time they achieve something. This creates an endless cycle of striving, achieving, and then setting the bar even higher which only reinforces the feeling of “not enough.” It’s like being on a treadmill that never stops—the more you run, the further the finish line seems to get.

Why Aiming for “Good Enough” Can Be Healthier

Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean letting go of goals. It’s choosing realistic expectations that promote health rather than deplete it. Research has shown that people who adopt a “good enough” mindset are often more resilient, better able to cope with stress, and less likely to fall into the perfectionism trap.

Setting realistic expectations can be one of the most powerful steps to ease stress and anxiety. Rather than pressuring yourself to be perfect in every situation, try to focus on achievable goals and give yourself the grace to adapt as needed. Taking this step actively lowers cortisol levels which decreases inflammation. Redefine what success looks like to not only reduce stress but to create more space for true enjoyment and fulfillment.

Letting go of perfectionism can also transform relationships. When we stop holding ourselves and others to impossible standards, we open the door to acceptance. This acceptance strengthens bonds with those around us and creates a sense of connection that’s vital for both mental and physical health. Build relationships rooted in authenticity and understanding to create a support system.

Embracing self-compassion is an important part of personal growth. Treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show a friend reduces the likelihood of depression, anxiety, and burnout. Self-compassion allows you to appreciate your journey, mistakes and all, as part of the process of growth. Becoming the best version of yourself means you are open to growth and grounded in acceptance. 

Strategies to Break Free from Perfectionism

1. Set Intentions, Not Perfections

Setting intentions allows you to focus on your goals without the pressure of a perfect outcome. This could mean aiming to make healthier choices instead than forcing yourself to follow a strict diet, or choosing to move your body joyfully instead of doing punishing workouts.

2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Listen to what you are telling yourself. Challenge this voice by actively replacing it with affirmations or gentle reminders to be kind to yourself. Remember, our bodies respond to every thought, so shifting to positive self-talk can actually lead to better health.

3. Learn to Embrace the C-

Embrace the concept of “good enough.” Aiming for a C- can feel shocking to a perfectionist, but it’s a powerful way to rewire the brain to accept imperfection. Let yourself try it for a day or a week. Notice the relief it brings and how it helps you relax, sleep better, and enjoy life more.

4. Seek Community Support

Perfectionism thrives in isolation. Surround yourself with people who encourage self-acceptance and support your journey to let go of impossible standards. Being part of a supportive community can help you see yourself with kinder eyes and release perfectionist tendencies.

Why “Good Enough” Can Lead to More Healing

It’s a myth that perfection is the only path to health. The reality is, our health flourishes when we feel fulfilled, relaxed, and supported. Perfectionism robs us of these essentials, draining our bodies of the resilience we need to thrive. Aiming for “good enough” allows our bodies and minds to rest and recuperate which leads to greater health in the long term.

The best thing you can do for your health is to let yourself off the hook every once in a while. Progress, not perfection, is the true path to wellness.

Ready to Embrace Imperfection? Join The Zen and Zest Zone

If you’re ready to let go of the stress of perfectionism and start focusing on what truly matters for your health, consider joining our community! The Zen and Zest Zone brings together a group of like-minded individuals who are committed to holistic healing, plant-based nutrition, and finding joy in imperfection. 

With membership, you’ll get exclusive access to monthly live herbal discussions, Q&A sessions on holistic health topics, fun food demos, laughter yoga, exercise classes, and so much more! It’s a supportive space to embrace your wellness journey with a “good enough” approach and finally let go of the need for perfection.

Join the waiting list now to be the first to know when doors open. Let’s take this journey together, one imperfect but powerful step at a time. Embrace balance, well-being, and community—where progress, not perfection, is the ultimate goal.

Perfectionism may feel like a superpower, but in reality, it’s often a trap. Breaking free might mean aiming for that C- once in a while, choosing peace over perfection. Ready to make the leap? Sign up today and start letting go of the need to be perfect—for your health, your happiness, and your future.