By Jennifer Whitmire, MS, MEd, MH, CHES, NEP

When we think of healing from autoimmune disease, we often picture strict elimination diets, specific supplements, and maybe a stack of functional lab results. All the things! And while food, herbs, and detective work all have their place (and trust me, I love digging in to get to the root), there’s a powerful healing tool that we forget about: love.

L-O-V-E!

Not romantic love (though that counts, too), but real, heart-felt connection. Self-love. Supportive community. A sense of belonging. The ability to give and receive kindness. All of these forms of love influence 

• the way our immune system functions
• how our nervous system regulates
• whether our body feels safe enough to heal

Is there science to back up whether love matters in the healing journey? Could this be the missing piece of your autoimmune recovery plan.

Love and Autoimmunity

Autoimmune disease is a condition where the body loses its ability to distinguish friend from foe. The immune system, which should be protecting us from pathogens and toxins, gets dysregulated and confused and begins accidentally attacking our own tissues.

So what does love have to do with that?

Well, everything.

The immune system is deeply influenced by the nervous system, the endocrine system, and our mental-emotional state. 

When we’re in chronic stress and are emotionally isolated, inflamed, overworked, or feeling unsafe, our immune system gets out of balance. 

When we’re surrounded by love, our body produces a cascade of healing chemicals: endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin. These compounds don’t just make us feel good, they actively shift our biology toward repair and regeneration.

Let’s Talk Endorphins: Natural Painkillers

Endorphins are your body’s natural opioids. They’re produced by the central nervous system and the pituitary gland, and they help reduce pain, promote pleasure, and make us feel good.

When you experience love from cuddling your child, hugging a friend, receiving a compliment, or simply being seen and accepted, your body releases endorphins. And this surge of “feel-good” chemicals doesn’t just make you happy. It calms inflammation. It helps regulate immune activity. It even reduces the perception of pain.

For people with autoimmune conditions like Hashimoto’s, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, or lupus, that’s a big deal. Chronic pain and low mood often go hand in hand. But love, real, embodied, oxytocin-rich love, can shift your internal chemistry and soften the daily discomfort.

And that’s not just a Hallmark-card idea. Studies show that patients with strong social support networks have better outcomes in nearly every chronic disease, including autoimmune disorders. Even the perception of being loved and supported is linked to lower inflammatory markers like CRP (C-reactive protein) and IL-6. (Get these inflammatory markers checked, if you haven’t already!)

The Foundation of All Healing

If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” then you’ve touched the surface of why self-love matters so much.

Self-love ISN’T bubble baths and pedicures (though those can be great). It’s deeper than that. 

• It’s choosing to really nourish your body with food that heals rather than harms.  Eat the fruit and veggies and trash the cookies and chips.
• It’s setting boundaries, saying no when your body needs rest.  Quit with the guilt and people pleasing.
• It’s refusing to internalize the guilt that comes from not being able to “do it all.” It is perfectly acceptable to have a pajama day every now and then.
• It’s also the way you talk to yourself in the mirror. The thoughts you think about your worth. The compassion you offer yourself on the hard days. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I LOVE YOU!”

Your immune system is listening.

When you berate yourself, push through symptoms, and pretend everything is fine, you reinforce a state of chronic stress. 

Your cortisol levels stay high, your blood sugar and insulin stay elevated, your gut lining stays leaky, and your immune system remains on high alert.

When you treat yourself with kindness, when you let yourself rest, when you nourish instead of deprive, …

You tell your immune system, “We’re safe now.” And healing begins.

Why Community Is Key

We are biologically wired to belong. Humans evolved in tribes, not in isolation. 

Loneliness is considered more dangerous to health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Chronic loneliness increases inflammation, raises stress hormones, impairs sleep, and weakens the immune response.

People with strong social connections live longer. They get fewer colds. They heal faster after surgery. They even respond better to vaccines (Though, I’m not promoting vaccines to those of you with an autoimmune condition).

Community make us feel supported, and it changes our physiology.

That’s why support groups, group coaching, and healing circles can be so powerful for people with autoimmune disease. It’s not just about education or recipes or frameworks (though I love sharing all those things!). It’s about being seen. Being understood. Feeling less alone in your journey.

If you’ve ever shared your story in a room of people who truly “get it,” you know the power of that moment. It opens something in you. It shifts you out of survival mode and into connection. That shift alone can begin to modulate immune responses in real time.

The Love Hormone That Calms the Immune System

Oxytocin is often called the “love hormone,” but it might as well be called the “healing hormone.”

Released during acts of physical affection, trust, bonding, and even when petting animals, oxytocin has powerful anti-inflammatory properties. It directly influences the vagus nerve, helping to tone the parasympathetic nervous system, the “rest and digest” mode of the body.

This is key, because so many autoimmune sufferers are stuck in fight-or-flight.

And here’s something really beautiful: oxytocin helps regulate immune function. It balances T-regulatory cells (Tregs) which are the peacekeepers of the immune system. Tregs help reduce the autoimmune attack and promote immune tolerance.

So yes, snuggling your dog, laughing with your partner, enjoying a shared meal with friends, or being part of a supportive community is deeply therapeutic.

Love As Medicine

Many people with autoimmune disease experience an identity crisis. You might feel like you’ve lost your old self. Maybe you can’t eat what your friends eat anymore. Maybe you’ve had to give up your career or hobbies. You might feel like you’re a burden to those around you.

I’ve felt ALL of those.

And in that isolation, your body hurts more. Your fatigue deepens. Your symptoms flare.

Love is the antidote.

I don’t say that lightly. As someone who has been through my own autoimmune journey, I’ve learned that love, especially the kind I give to myself, has the power to shift everything.

Love says, “You are worthy even when you’re unwell.”

Love says, “You’re not broken.”

Love invites joy back in.

And joy is a frequency that invites healing.

Practical Ways To Bring More Love into Your Life

Healing doesn’t have to mean being perfect. It means being present. And love can show up in so many practical ways:

• Start your day with a kind affirmation. Look in the mirror and say, “I love and trust my body to heal.”
• Reach out to someone you care about. Connection heals. Send a text, write a letter, make a call, or just meet for tea.
• Join a healing circle or community. Whether it’s a membership group, support group, or local meetup, find your people. (You can even join mine!)
• Hug more often. Physical touch boosts oxytocin. Don’t underestimate the healing power of a 20-second hug. You can even give yourself a hug!
• Pet your dog or cat. Animal companionship is linked to lower blood pressure and stress levels.
• Forgive yourself. There’s no such thing as a perfect healing journey. Start again, as often as needed. Every moment you have the opportunity to try again.
• Cultivate joy. Play music. Dance. Make art. Laugh. Watch a silly movie. These are biochemical healing tools.

Love Isn’t Woo-Woo—It’s A Signal of Safety

If you’ve felt skeptical reading this, I understand. We’ve been trained to think healing comes only through protocols, prescriptions, and surgeries. But the most potent medicine often starts on the inside.

Love creates the internal environment that allows healing to happen.

It tells your immune system that you are safe.

It tells your nervous system that it can relax.

It shifts your hormones, neurotransmitters, and gene expression.

And perhaps most importantly, love gives you the courage to stay in the game and to keep showing up for your body even on the hard days.

Love Is the Missing Macronutrient

So, what’s love got to do with autoimmune healing?

Everything.

Love changes your brain chemistry, your hormone balance, your immune function, your gut health, and your stress response. It’s something to cultivate, to practice, and to receive.

If you’ve been doing everything “right” and still aren’t seeing results, maybe it’s time to check in with your heart. Are you being kind to yourself? Are you allowing joy? Are you receiving support? Are you connected? Are you holding on to a grudge?

Love may just be the most powerful supplement your body’s been waiting for.

If you’re craving community, connection, and nourishment that goes deeper than food, join me in the Culinary Healing Circle. We cook. We laugh. We learn. We heal—together.